yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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