its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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