If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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