fuck your aforementioned shoe
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
