She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
