don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
