brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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