happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
