We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
