sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
