It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
