I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
