I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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