If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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