Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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