I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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