dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
