Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
