i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
