She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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