we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
