What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Too much gin, very little bucket
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
