even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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