Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
