My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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