glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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