After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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