Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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