"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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