Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
