You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
