Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
