I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
