her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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