Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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