Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
