I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
