somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
