I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
