Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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