Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
