Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
