it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
