i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
