I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
