Im at strip club and am horny
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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