KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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