I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
