Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
