Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
